What to Write in a Baby Shower Card

Postpartum Care

by | Jul 26, 2023 | Postpartum Care

Table of Contents

Use these sayings and writing prompts to support a mom-to-be in a baby shower card.

“Congratulations” is a pretty good start when considering what to write in a baby shower card – though it might not be the most impactful message you could send.

Though kind words pouring in from many people can be a great emotional boost, it isn’t a long-lasting solution.

What a new mom needs above all else is a genuine offer of ongoing support during what may be the most stressful and isolating time of their lives.

The bottom line is: if you’re wondering how to really be there for a new mom, the best words to write in her baby shower card are: “Text me whenever, call me anytime – when you need me, I will be there.”

But there’s more you can say and do, and in this article we provide you with:

  • Heartfelt words of encouragement you can use
  • Postpartum support resources you can share
  • Opportunities to support more new moms postpartum

In this article explore:

  1. The importance of encouragement postpartum
  2. Why you should offer new moms support postpartum
  3. How to help build a postpartum community
  4. Providing genuine support for new moms

Key Takeaways:

The importance of encouragement postpartum

Encouragement can mean a lot of things.

It can mean cheering someone on from the sidelines – or it can mean getting involved hands-on and helping to support someone through a challenging time.

When it comes to what new moms need postpartum, hands-on help is vital to parental mental health.

Yet, for those who aren’t able to help out in-person, don’t underestimate the value of encouragement.

Encouragement is a big part of maintaining healthy relationships and feeling good about ourselves at work, home, or in the community – and this includes how we feel about ourselves as parents.

When raising children, experts say that encouragement is a key component of children developing a positive sense of self and an ability to feel confident in themselves as they explore the world, because they know their parents will be there when they face challenges.

Apply those same principles to new parents because chances are, they’re worried about doing things wrong, and they could really use your support.

Just as we collectively gather to cheer on marathon runners alongside a race, moms – especially ones experiencing mom burnout – need society to lift them up and help them refuel.

Also read: How to Help Mom Burnout: It’s time to stop calling moms superheroes 

7 encouraging sayings to include in a baby shower card

Use these words of encouragement and heartfelt messages below, or mix and match them to create your own writing prompts as you fill out a baby shower card for a mom-to-be:

 

  • In the midst of sleepless nights and days full of diaper changes, remember that YOU are a remarkable human being. You aren’t alone and you can text me anytime day or night.
  • There might be days when you doubt yourself, but never doubt that I am here for you. Motherhood wasn’t meant to be done alone and I’m here as part of your village.
  • As a new mom your strength will be awe-inspiring and your love will be limitless. And know that when you need to refuel, reset and refocus, I’m ready to step in with anything you need.
  • When it comes to being an incredible mom, we all know you are going to rock it. But when it comes to having your own needs met, remember that you deserve all the love in the world too. If you need someone to vent, cry, or laugh with, just call me.
  • In the beautiful chaos of motherhood, Asking for help is an act of bravery that shows strength and self-awareness. Remember, you aren’t alone and we are here for you any day you need us in the marathon of parenthood.
  • They say “it takes a village to raise a child” and I want you to know that you are not alone in this journey. Whether it’s a listening ear or a helping hand – I am here for you whenever you need it. Embrace the joyous moments and know that you can call me during the overwhelming ones.
  • During this transition into motherhood, I want to remind you it is beautiful and messy(!) but I am here for you. I will drop of a meal and/or reach out to you and remind you how amazing you are and that you are not alone.  *Just remember to drop a meal off if you promise to.

Some support tips to encourage new parents postpartum

There is an overwhelming amount of information available to parents now, it can be hard to know where to begin. There are memoirs, textbooks, self-help books, workbooks, social media accounts, blogs, novels, articles, and more, all with their own opinions about how parenting is easy or hard, the best or the worst, and how it “should” be done.

So, here are a few take-away tips you can keep in mind when trying to help new moms postpartum:

  • If you see a parent struggling, offer to help – offer to hold the baby while mom gets a shower to herself, or load the dishwasher, or bring some pre-made meals that she doesn’t have to cook herself.
  • Offer lots of praise and encouragement when you see things that they’re doing well. Sometimes new moms just really need to hear that they’re doing a great job, even when babies and toddlers are hard to please.
  • Offer advice only when asked – unsolicited advice may be overwhelming, and sometimes what worked for you just won’t work for someone else.
  • Make sure new moms know that you’re there to help them when things feel really challenging!

Take encouragement to the next level by offering support postpartum

Encouraging a new mom is great, and you can take your support beyond that.

A new mother’s perception of social support can have a huge impact on how she feels about her own parenting.

When new mothers feel they have non judgemental supporters around them who will help when they feel drained, their risk of postpartum depression decreases. This is why the importance of mom friends postpartum can’t be underestimated.

Beyond words in a baby shower card, letting a new mom know that when they call for help, the call will be answered is a priceless gift to offer new moms.

Also read: The Importance of Mom Friends Postpartum 

Building a postpartum community

So, we know there are plenty of ways to support new moms when they have family members and friends who are available and live near enough to help out. 

But what about new moms who don’t have as many nearby friends and family? What about the days when they’re feeling low, and they aren’t sure who to call in those moments when family and friends just don’t get it?

This is where building a postpartum community comes in.

Whether it’s heartfelt words in a baby shower card, sending a text message or encouraging other friends and family to check-in, there are many ways to help build a postpartum community around a new mom. 

So how can you help build that village that new moms need and deserve? 

Share information about Care for Women! 

5 ways to suggest Care for Women in a baby shower card

Help a new mother build their community through Care for Women – a women-led organization designed to support new mothers with their postpartum needs. 

Moms-to-be can apply for postpartum care and support – for free! Care for Women provides mentorship, meals and maids at no-cost to mom.

Note: We’re currently accepting applications for pregnant mothers in need of assistance in Abbotsford, Mission, Langley and Chilliwack, BC.

>> New moms can apply here

Include information about our services in our baby shower message to new parents so they have support when they need it. Or tag a new mom-to-be in one of our Instagram posts @Careforwomen_fraservalley. 

Below are example baby shower card messages you can use to share information about our services with a new mom-to-be: 

  • As the days countdown to baby’s arrival, take a moment to explore the awesome postpartum support services offered by Care for Women. They are completely free of charge and provide direct support in your home at no cost to you! Check them out at www.careforwomen.ca 
  • I know that when the baby arrives your family and friends will be far away, but you still deserve a village around you. Care for Women is this great organization that will build a village for you during those early postpartum weeks. They provided dedicated 1:1 help in your home. You can apply online for free at www.careforwomen.ca
  • The days with a newborn can feel like the longest, shortest time and you deserve to spend as much of that time as possible cuddling your baby. Check out the services offered by Care for Women – they will provide meals, clean and support you during those early postpartum days so that you can spend as much time as possible enjoying them. You can apply online for free at www.careforwomen.ca 
  • Before baby arrives take a moment to check out this new incredible organization Care for Women. They provide cooking, cleaning and postpartum mentorship services in your home completely for free for you! If you’re interested you can apply online at www.careforwomen.ca
  • Let’s build a village around you for those early postpartum weeks so that you can spend as much time as possible healing and enjoying newborn snuggles. I found this incredible organization that will provide meals, cleaning and help in your home – for free! They’re called Care for Women, and you can apply for their services at www.careforwomen.ca 

Motherhood mentorship, meals and maids

Care for Women was founded because we believe that motherhood was never meant to be done alone. 

We provide the support we believe all mothers should have: mentorship, meals, and cleaning services during the postpartum period.

When you write a card for an expecting mom, provide her with support in her community by encouraging her to apply for care with Care for Women. If you aren’t currently in our service region, take a few moments to see if there are any support services available nearby the new mom-to-be and provide the information to her. 

Go beyond the baby shower card – remember to check up on new moms during the postpartum period so that they never have to feel alone.

Continue to text and check-in and offer words of encouragement throughout the entire postpartum period and beyond.

Helping other mothers

Your support is important to us as we strive to provide support for more mothers across Canada. Our goal is to expand to more regions across the country, but we can’t do that without your help: 

We are so grateful <3 

A hiking mom watching her children explore nature

What is the criteria for being a "good mom"?

For our children to develop a secure attachment to us they need to experience feeling seen, soothed and safe. Renowned psychiatrist  Dr. Daniel Seigel, calls these the 3S’s of secure attachment. 

It is so easy for moms to heap on the guilt for having natural human emotions and experiences, such as being tired, worn out, wanting space, or feeling angry or disappointed. 

If I had to sum up the criteria for what all the books and research indicates about being a good mom is: show up with presence (much easier said than done), allow your humanity to come through, while being the adult to your children. Now before you roll your eyes and dismiss that as a cliche answer, allow me to elaborate because it can be very hard to put into practice. 

The more you push away or deny your lived experience of feeling tired, bored, sad, disappointed, angry, or lost, the harder living life will be.

Also Read: Get more information about the effects of mom burnout here. 

"Good enough" mothering

You don’t have to be all things to your children at all times. 

There are so many nights I have checked on my sleeping kids before going to bed myself, and felt a wave of regret for all the ways I wasn’t a great mother to them that day. 

It’s a common experience for many parents. What is important about this regret, or disappointment with how we behaved, is that it illustrates that we cannot be the parent we always want to be. The reality is that children will thrive without us being superheroes.

What they need is for us to show up with presence. 

And too many parents are not present. I’m not suggesting we need to be present all the time, that’s not realistic or developmentally necessary for children, but when we do talk to our kids, or answer their questions, or read them a story, or nurse them – too often we are distracted (often with technology) and it impacts our ability to attune to our kids. 

Children can thrive without many things in life, but not without a present parent. 

Accept your humanity. You aren’t perfect and you can strive to grow; it’s not an either/or situation but a both/and. 

The paradox is that when we accept our own humanity and lived experiences, it becomes easier to accept our children’s reality and accompanying emotions. 

This doesn’t mean you have to like your newborn’s cries or child’s anger. It simply means that your child’s emotions are varied and will come and go, and that instead of creating judgements around which ones are acceptable to you, you are able to accept they have a different reality than you. 

When we practice this daily, deep acceptance for how we feel (remember, acceptance is different than liking something) or what our children feel we can: 

  • Become less triggered and have more capacity to be curious about what is driving our children’s behaviour (are they hangry, tired, scared, disappointed, are they off their rocker because their brain is developmentally immature and needs help?)
  • Differentiate our reality from their reality (our child may be upset but we have greater ability to not be sucked into their vortex of chaos). For example, say something to ourselves such as, “My child is disappointed and having a hard time, but their reality is different than mine. I am not experiencing their disappointment.”

  • Reframe a hard situation – hearing crying or fighting can be highly distressing and exhausting but it won’t last forever.

When you learn to accept your humanity – which can be a long process of healing depending on your upbringing – you develop greater capacity to accept your children’s humanity and hopefully see your children for who they are, soothe them when they are in distress and help them feel safe.

If that sounds foreign or hard, perhaps spend time exploring your internal world with a trusted  loved one, a crew of mom friends, or a mental health professional.

 

What to do when you are struggling

I hope it’s clear that “motherhood nature” isn’t a fixed state or trait. Our motherhood nature can change and grow. 

I want to reiterate, work on letting go of perfection. There is a tension that all parents need to balance in striving to grow and become the best parents they can, while acknowledging their shortcomings. We all have shortcomings. You are a human not a robot, that is what makes you interesting. 

You have an attachment history that has deeply impacted you the person you are today; most parents are doing the best they can with the tools they have. 

Though we all struggle as parents, it’s so much worse to do it alone. We are wired to be in relationships with others and we need friends and seasoned mothers come alongside us for encouragement, guidance, and relief. 

If you are struggling, connect with social media accounts like Diary of an Honest Mom, The Good Mutha, Raising Yourself, or Lindsey Gurk to normalize your experience and hopefully feel a little less alone. 

If you are struggling, you are being a good mom by getting help; you are not weak. There are many resources available on the Canadian Mental Health Association.

If you are struggling as a parent from traumatic events you had as a child, check out Complex Trauma Resources to begin the process of healing. . 

Part of healing means making connections with a village of mom friends who have got your back, and who may be struggling with the same parenting challenges and life experiences that you are. If you are going to be a new mom and you don’t have a village of support around you, make sure you apply for care here. 

Put it into perspective: you are raising humans

Every difficult stage of parenting can feel like it takes forever. The first step to shifting your perspective is to think not about the difficulty of your present moment, but to consider the bigger picture.

Imagine yourself 5 years from now by asking yourself these question:

  • How old will your child(ren) be? 
  • How old will you be? 
  • What stage of life will you be in? 
  • Who will be in your life?
  • Who may not be in your life?
  • How would you like to have grown as a person?

One of the best pieces of advice my parents gave me was, “this too shall pass.” The stages of our children won’t last forever. The sleepless nights will one day be over. The behaviour of siblings chucking toys at each other will not endure. 

Being a mother is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It will change you – and it should. The experiences change you forever, in so many deep and meaningful ways. I believe if you allow it to transform you, it changes you for the better. 

Your motherhood nature will change as you change. 

Embrace the complexities and nuance, learn and strive to grow while honouring your humanity. And above all,  find other mothers who will walk-alongside you to be a source of strength and support. You were never meant to do it alone. 

Help us to support more mothers! Donate now to ensure that every new mom has a village of support around her when she has a new baby to care for. 

Written by Kenzi Dirks

Kenzi is a mother of 2 kiddos who keep her on her toes, co-founder of Care For Women, and a Registered Clinical Counsellor who specializes in working with couples.

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