Returning to work after maternity leave is one of the biggest transitions a mother can face — and one of the least talked about with any real honesty. 

You spend months planning and thinking about the arrival of this new life, spend months getting to know the tiny human in your life, learning your new routine, trying to find your stride in motherhood. 

Then, you’re expected to bounce back to your pre-mom work identity as if nothing has changed. 

Once you’re back to work, you’re expected to show up as a clear-minded and well-rested professional through the day, and by night, be the same nurturing, child-focused mother at home. 

Easy, right?

The truth is, being a mom and working at the same time isn’t just a scheduling challenge — it’s an emotional, identity-shifting, often overwhelming experience. 

This isn’t a one-size-fits-all guide, but a real, tender look at what’s helping moms who are trying to juggle it all — and who are doing the best they can.

The Emotional Weight of Being a Mom and Going Back to Work

There’s no handbook for how it feels to leave your baby in someone else’s care that first time — whether it’s a daycare drop-off, a nanny handoff, or a family member stepping in. For many of us, the tears come hot and fast. For others, there are no tears — and then the guilt sets in.

The emotional rollercoaster can include grief, anxiety, guilt, resentment, and even shame. You may feel like a stranger in your own skin: someone who used to be confident at work but now second-guesses everything, especially when you’re running on broken sleep and breastmilk-stained blazers.

We’ve seen moms in Reddit threads wondering, “Am I a bad mom for not crying on my first day back?” or “Why do I feel like a fraud in both roles now?” That’s real. And it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong — it means you care.

Personal note: One of our team members remembers sitting in a parking lot after daycare drop-off, practicing her “meeting voice” because she was afraid her mom voice would creep out — meanwhile holding back tears over a tearful daycare goodbye. The duality is exhausting. You’re not alone in that.

How to Be a Mom and Work at the Same Time: The Logistics That Make or Break Your Day

Let’s talk about the practical stuff — because some days, logistics are the only thing keeping the whole operation together.

Some strategies we’ve seen (and tried ourselves):

• Meal prep Sundays: You don’t have to love it, you just have to eat. Try prepping for the whole week to save you time each day.
  
• Shared family calendars: Colour-coded chaos is still organized, and can help you outline for your spouse or other caregivers where you need the most support.
  
• Parenting task apps: Cozi, Google Keep — or good old-fashioned sticky notes!
  
• Designated “drop zones”: A magical pile of the things you will definitely need to leave with, waiting by the door that makes mornings 2% less frantic
  

There’s also the less Instagrammable stuff:

• Pumping in traffic (yes, it’s a thing)
  
• Getting clothes and lunches ready the night before (only to discover someone “hates bananas now).
  
• Texting your partner mid-meeting: “Did you pack the snowpants / the sunscreen?”
  

Personal note: One of our friends has a checklist on her fridge which includes things like: Have you had enough water today? Have you had any exercise or fresh air? Have you been kind to yourself today?

It’s Easier to Be a Mom and Work When You Set Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t selfish — they’re oxygen masks. We see moms drawing lines like:

• “No work emails after 6 p.m.”
  
• Blocking calendar time for school pickup or mental health breaks.
  
• Saying no to “just one more thing” when you’re already at capacity.
  

And at home:

• Asking for help (without the guilt spiral).
  
• Sharing the load with partners — even if it means letting go of the “right way” to fold towels / load the dish washer.
  
• Saying goodbye to the spotless house fantasy. (There will be crumbs. We shall move on.)
  

“I had to learn that being everything to everyone meant I had nothing left for myself.” — A mom, a professional, a human

Related: Motherhood nature – born with it? Or something learned over time (and a lot of patience).

Can You Be a Mom and Work Without Falling Apart?

Let’s bust the myth of the “mom who does it all.”

That image you have in your head — the career-climbing, home-cooked-meal-making, emotionally present, physically glowing woman who is nailing it in every category? Yeah. She’s a myth, probably sponsored by a laundry detergent commercial.

Let’s redefine success:

• Some days, success is just getting everyone out the door with pants on.
  
• Some days, it’s sending the email you’ve been dreading for a week.
  
• And some days, it’s just showing up.
  

Related: How to build bonds between you and your children.

How to Be a Mom and Work: Having a Village Makes It Possible

You were never meant to do this alone.

The moms who seem like they’re juggling everything? Most of them have a village behind them — or are desperately trying to build one.

Your village might include:

• A partner or co-parent who actually shares the mental load.
  
• A daycare worker who reassures you your kid is thriving.
  
• A reminder you schedule in your phone that simply says “you’ve got this” at 8 a.m. each day.
  
• A mentor who reminds you that this season won’t last forever.
  

Communities matter — online or in person. Slack groups. Instagram circles. Anonymous Reddit confessions. Programs like ours. It all counts.

Personal note: One mom shared that her neighbor showed up once a week to walk her newborn so she could shower and cry in peace. That’s the village.

Related: Mom friends make the village – here are our tips to make friends as a parent.

You’re Not Alone — And You Don’t Have to Do It All

If you’re tired, it’s not because you’re failing. If your to-do list feels like it’s growing in your sleep, you’re not falling behind — you’re living the reality of trying to be a mom and work at the same time.

You’re doing the impossible, every day, with love.

Also Read: The mom burnout spectrum, and finding joy in your parenting even when things are hard.

What We Do at Care For Women

At Care For Women, we’re here to lighten that impossible load. Our programs support moms through the hardest seasons — with real talk, real care, and real connection.

Whether you’re seeking support, looking to donate, or curious about becoming a mentor to another mom in your community — we invite you to explore CareForWomen.ca.

💜 Find the care you need.
💜 Give the care you wish you’d had.
💜 Be the village for someone else.

Because motherhood was never meant to be a solo act.